The feeling of Regret; The feeling of respect

Well, me and G finally did talk about some of our problems. Yes, I lied my way out of it but hell, he's been thinkgin that I am the one who's been sending him those text messages. Even thought I am, I just couldn't let him know. Our "FRIENDSHIP" already has enough strain. We already don't talk enough. I mean, I don't want to sound like the jealous, insecure type, but if he likes talking to his best friend so much, then why don't he just be with her and stop fucking with my mind. I mean really. That bastard fucking knows how I feel about him; he fucking knows that I basically love him even though I didn't really say those words. I know, however, that he probably DID tell his best friend everthing I've EVER told him. I know she probably know that I've been pregnant before, but you know what, I don't even care. I'm trying to not let a man come between the friendship his best friend and I are trying to build, and I'm trying to not let his best friend come between the relationship G and I are trying to RE-build. But I know that's like trying to squeeze a watermelon out of a cherry. They are so stuck together. Why would he want to let me in qhen he already has some girl he can talk to about any thing and everything? I don't understand how he can tell that girl all my business and expect me to be cool with it. Naw, I ain't really feeling that shit. Especially when his best friend is saying that if she wants to know anything that happens between us that she'll just ask G because "He tells her EVERYTHING". Anything I tell you is not really meant to be told to everyone even if they are your best friend, because the fact still remains that they're not MY best friend, and it's MY business, so who says they're not going to go out and tell everyone? If he ever told me anything I would not tell any of my friends because it's none of their business, that was between us. What happens between us, stays between us. The only time I would say something is when we agreed to tell. I wish I had never kissed him, because even though it was for fun for him, It wasn't for me. I am so much more in love with him it aint even funny. Sometimes I wish I would have slept with him and went raw because I was ovulating. I would have gotten pregnant, and that nigga would have been trapped. Then again, he could be just like his daddy, and he might leave me alone. So I guess I'm glad I didn't talk to him. Until later bloggers, have a nice day.