WOW!!! It's so funny how one person can change your life so much! Remember how when I had just started this whole blogging thing I was so stuck on that one boy from Panama? G came a long and helped me forget all about him. Last night, I was on McChord (where he lives) spending the night at a friends house. We decided to go out around 10:30. I called G to see what he was doing since he is leaving on Monday. Let's just say that we were in a group of like 10 and we left them and ended up as a group of two. He called me over by him because he was babysitting his sisters and he couldn't leave them. He wanted me to give him a hug but that hug turned into a couple of kisses (GOOD kisses by the way). But anyways, we just talked and made out for like 2 hours or whatever. He kisses so GOOD!!! I really really (I don't want to say love) like this boy. If I said I didn't have feelings for him I would be lying. He knows exactly how I feel and I know how he feels. I just wish that he didn't have to go to Colorado because he IS my best friend and probably the closest I'll ever get to a man again. He's one of those boys that could just hold you for a long time and looks in your eyes and actually LISTENS to what you're saying. And you can tell he's listening because he don't just shake his head or answer with a one word response. He actually says a couple of sentences and he makes you feel so loved. I think God really must have been thinking about me when he made G because ever since he came my life has done a 360 degree turn. I mean, things I used to do, I don't do anymore because of the fear of losing him. I don't even think nastily about other men because I'm so stuck on G. And even though it's true that he's not that cute, what he lacks for in looks he makes up for in his personality. He's such a beautiful person and I hope that we keep in contact and that one day in the next few years we see each other again. Everyone keeps telling me that it's puppy love, and it might be, but only us two know how we really feel inside our hearts. I'm telling you, this may be a friendship that lasts forever. And if it doesn't oh well, I can't be living on the thought of this boy for the rest of my life. I guess I'll have to move on with my life.
I was just talking to my friend on msn and she was saying how I was making her depressed because she wishes she had someone to make out with. I had to explain to her that life isn't only about finding a man. You have to find yourself first. She broke up with her boyfriend of one year over the summer and she is STILL stuck on him. I mean, come on, MOVE ON!!! There's so many other things you could be doing with your time. He ain't worrying about you, why you worrying about him??? She's taking away from the beauty of her personality by making this guy run her life. She always thinks that if she walks a way where he is or looks where he is, then she's stalking him. ??? Am I the only one confused??? But that's the problem with society today. Yes, women have rights, but, mentally we're all still stuck in the midieval ages. Everyone believes that they have to do everything to GET and KEEP a man. If you believe you need a man to keep you happy then you need to do some soul searching because the only man (or being I should say) that can truly keep you happy is our Lord. Men on earth dissapoint, make you happy, then dissapoint you again. If you want to be chasing after something like that for the rest of your life then so be it, but excuse me if I don't join you. I'm not saying that you just need to give up on men altogether. Believe me, even I can't do that. But you also need to worry about yourself first. If you keep succumbing yourself to men who disrespect/ or don't please you, you're just messing yourself up in the head. You're gonna get to the point where you just don't trust men at all, and when the right man does come a long, you're not gonna see him because you won't trust him. And men, this goes for you too. Don't be spending your whole life looking for the right woman because you're just pushing yourself even closer to failure. I hope somebody out there actually takes this advice into consideration. Even though I may seem a bit immature or maybe even boy crazy, I still have my standards. I'm not settling for just right, I want THE BEST!!! I know when to say no, and I know not to be with anyone who doesn't respect me or my body. So as usual, I leave you with a question: Does distance really make the heart grow fonder?
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
Still Can't believe he's gone...
Hello blogger,
Sorry I haven't been on lately, it's just been a lot of things happening lately. Any who, today was my best friend (we'll just refer to him as "G") G's last day. He's going to Colorado. Of course when I heard this, I was heartbroken. I mean, I couldn't stand him last year. This year I've seen a cuter, more mature side of G that I never knew he had. And for the longest time, G was just there, he wasn't really important to me. Like last month, I started to notice the beautiful person that he was. Now he's gone. He was the only one I could talk to when I needed an ear. But that's how the military is, you stay in one place for maybe a year, and then you're gone. G is, I have to say, the closest I think I'll ever be with a man in my entire life. I mean, there's a lot of things that men have done to me in the past and for a while I just didn't trust men at all. But G came a long and he made me feels so comfortable and open with him. When I'm around him I feel like can't no harm come my way. In the past two months since we've started talking so much, I've basically shared my whole life stories with him. And what I love about him is that if he ever lost any respect for me when I told him some of these things, he never showed it. He didn't act like I was some piece of meat like most men treat me, and I love him for that. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I could actually see myself marrying G in my future. I don't know if it's just infatuation or if there's really feelings there, but I really, really could see myself having a long-term relationship with him. What sucks is that when I finally put all my trust in someone who doesn't judge me for the shit I've done and the shit I haven't done, it seems like God rips them out of my life. But then again, I can't blame everything on God. This is the doing of man and that dumb service called the military. But if G and I are as close as I think we are, then our paths will cross yet again. Hey, we'll be out of high school soon. We'll be grown and everything. We'll have jobs and we'll be able to visit each other without permission. But to G, "I love you boo. Just know that whereever you go, you'll always be in my heart because I got mad love for you baby." And to all those others looking for their love: "He/She's out there, you just have to let them come to you. And stop looking so hard. Sometimes the person you end up being with is the person closest to you that for some reason you keep ignoring... THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Sorry I haven't been on lately, it's just been a lot of things happening lately. Any who, today was my best friend (we'll just refer to him as "G") G's last day. He's going to Colorado. Of course when I heard this, I was heartbroken. I mean, I couldn't stand him last year. This year I've seen a cuter, more mature side of G that I never knew he had. And for the longest time, G was just there, he wasn't really important to me. Like last month, I started to notice the beautiful person that he was. Now he's gone. He was the only one I could talk to when I needed an ear. But that's how the military is, you stay in one place for maybe a year, and then you're gone. G is, I have to say, the closest I think I'll ever be with a man in my entire life. I mean, there's a lot of things that men have done to me in the past and for a while I just didn't trust men at all. But G came a long and he made me feels so comfortable and open with him. When I'm around him I feel like can't no harm come my way. In the past two months since we've started talking so much, I've basically shared my whole life stories with him. And what I love about him is that if he ever lost any respect for me when I told him some of these things, he never showed it. He didn't act like I was some piece of meat like most men treat me, and I love him for that. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I could actually see myself marrying G in my future. I don't know if it's just infatuation or if there's really feelings there, but I really, really could see myself having a long-term relationship with him. What sucks is that when I finally put all my trust in someone who doesn't judge me for the shit I've done and the shit I haven't done, it seems like God rips them out of my life. But then again, I can't blame everything on God. This is the doing of man and that dumb service called the military. But if G and I are as close as I think we are, then our paths will cross yet again. Hey, we'll be out of high school soon. We'll be grown and everything. We'll have jobs and we'll be able to visit each other without permission. But to G, "I love you boo. Just know that whereever you go, you'll always be in my heart because I got mad love for you baby." And to all those others looking for their love: "He/She's out there, you just have to let them come to you. And stop looking so hard. Sometimes the person you end up being with is the person closest to you that for some reason you keep ignoring... THINK ABOUT IT!!!
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