He knows how to make me hurt...

G was at my school yesterday. We were walking back from McDonald's and I looked up and he was walking down the sidewalk. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks with me because just like five minutes before that I had been thinking about him. And then lo and behold there was G. I almost passed out. My heart skipped like five beats. But I couldn't talk to him because he was always surrounded by people. And he was always giving me bad looks yesterday, so I was scared to talk to him. I wish I had talked to him though. But he looked so fine in that black shirt and everything. I could have just jumped all over him and slobbed him down right then and there. But no, I think he has a new girlfriend anyways. So that would have been useless. At least his hair was still cut. And those lips, I remember sucking all over them. I know he's not going to kiss me or anything or do anything with me because what do I have that his girlfriend doesn't already have. So, that intimate part of our relationship is obviously gone. And to tell the truth it's not really the intimacy that I miss. It's the comradeship that I miss. I miss being able to tell him all the parts of my life that I never told anyone else. I miss having someone who would listen to all and everything I've ever had to say. I miss having the only realfriend I've ever had in my life. That's what I miss. The intimacy thing came after and to tell the truth that DID only last two hours. You can't miss something you've just had a taste of. Not saying that I don't miss kissing him. Hell, I would be content if all we ever did was argue. I just want to be able to connect with him again. Get on that same level we had a couple of months ago. He was the first person I was able to cry around without fear of being judged. I thought he understood all this. I told him all of this and it hurts that he acted like he was taking it into consideration but obviously he didn't... I just wish we could go back to the way things were.